Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Garrison Keillor, that Homey Prairie Companion

I’ve been a fan of the Wit of Saint Paul ever since my first son Michael moved there and was moved to marry a local. The marriage didn’t last long enough for me, even though that coupling gave me--after a nerve breaking wait--the loveliest granddaughter, Sonia, that could enchant--now finishing her doctorate in Christian Studies at Duke University. 

But I am distracted: Today on NPR’s “Weekend Edition”, Scott Simon let Keillor give us a taste of his muse! His amusing wit I was very aware of. But poems? How did I ever miss his piss. Like the following:

O What a Luxury
O what a luxury it is
How exquisite, what perfect bliss
So ordinary and yet chic
To pee to piss to take a leak

To feel your bladder just go free
And open up the Mighty Miss
And all your cares float down the creek
To pee to piss to take a leak

For gentlemen of great physique
Who can hold water for one week
For ladies with one quarter cup
Of tea can fill completely up
For folks in urinalysis
For Viennese and Greeks and Swiss
For little kids just learning this
For everyone it’s pretty great
To urinate

Of course for men it’s much more grand
Women sit or squat
We stand
And hold the fellow in our hand
And proudly watch the mighty arc
Adjust the range and make our mark
On stones or post for rival men
To smell and not come back again

Women are so circumspect
But men can piss to great effect
With terrible hydraulic force
And make a stream or change its course
Can put out fires or cigarettes
And sometimes
Laying down our bets
Late at night outside the
We like to aim up at the stars
©1999 by Garrison Keillor

Now I’m not going to let GK get pissed off by repeating the new poems he read to Scott Simon today on “Weekend Edition.” Let me just say that this one was piss poor compared with those he read today on September 28, 2013. Yes, I think they’re better. 

But yur analysis may be better than mine. Nevertheless, you’ll have to go to Amazon.com to buy “O, What a Luxury: Verses Lyrical, Vulgar, Pathetic & Proud”. Kindle $14.62 (Please don’t pee on the Kindle, you might begin to burn!), Hardcover ($13.74, Masturbation not implied?) Used (14 from $9.02, ahem!), ( 31 New, from $9.75, 73c for a fresh encounter?) Free (for all) on the “Prairie Home Companion” weekly romp.

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