Garrison Keillor, that Homey Prairie Companion

I’ve been a fan of the Wit of Saint Paul ever since my first son Michael moved there and was moved to marry a local. The marriage didn’t last long enough for me, even though that coupling gave me--after a nerve breaking wait--the loveliest granddaughter, Sonia, that could enchant--now finishing her doctorate in Christian Studies at Duke University. 

But I am distracted: Today on NPR’s “Weekend Edition”, Scott Simon let Keillor give us a taste of his muse! His amusing wit I was very aware of. But poems? How did I ever miss his piss. Like the following:

O What a Luxury

O what a luxury it is

How exquisite, what perfect bliss

So ordinary and yet chic

To pee to piss to take a leak

To feel your bladder just go free

And open up the Mighty Miss

And all your cares float down the creek

To pee to piss to take a leak

For gentlemen of great physique

Who can hold water for one week

For ladies with one quarter cup

Of tea can fill completely up

For folks in urinalysis

For Viennese and Greeks and Swiss

For little kids just learning this

For everyone it’s pretty great

To urinate

Of course for men it’s much more grand

Women sit or squat

We stand

And hold the fellow in our hand

And proudly watch the mighty arc

Adjust the range and make our mark

On stones or post for rival men

To smell and not come back again

Women are so circumspect

But men can piss to great effect

With terrible hydraulic force

And make a stream or change its course

Can put out fires or cigarettes

And sometimes

Laying down our bets

Late at night outside the

Bars

We like to aim up at the stars

©1999 by Garrison Keillor

Now I’m not going to let GK get pissed off by repeating the new poems he read to Scott Simon today on “Weekend Edition.” Let me just say that this one was piss poor compared with those he read today on September 28, 2013. Yes, I think they’re better. 

But yur analysis may be better than mine. Nevertheless, you’ll have to go to Amazon.com to buy “O, What a Luxury: Verses Lyrical, Vulgar, Pathetic & Proud”. Kindle $14.62 (Please don’t pee on the Kindle, you might begin to burn!), Hardcover ($13.74, Masturbation not implied?) Used (14 from $9.02, ahem!), ( 31 New, from $9.75, 73c for a fresh encounter?) Free (for all) on the “Prairie Home Companion” weekly romp.